Books: portals leading to my frustrations
School: the morning, the afternoon and the evening
Politics: it's fucked!
Laws: useless!...but it will make the world a better place
Filipinos: wasted!...but there are others who make an exception
Philippines: garbage!...but there are little heavens in it
Weaknesses: they don't make me less of a human but rather less of a person
Fats: makes my life more complicated
Mistakes: inevitable but it adds quality to life
Pain: doesn't come in handy, only time could heal
Suffering: has always been my option
Boyfriend: what, who, when, where, why, how?
Men: are beautiful; sometimes I wish I'm one of them
Women: men's greatest weakness; I'm proud to be one
Marriage: not there yet, groom still at large
Sex: the main event...has to be something worth the wait
Friends: makes me psychologically balanced
Family: the past, the present and definitely the future
Religion: two! and unpracticed!
Future: I don't know what it holds but I know who holds it
Art: try me!
Music: I don't exist for music but I won't persist without it
Wrestling: the air that I breathe and the blood that runs through my veins
Faith: I still have one
Love: may not make the world go round but it makes the ride worth while
Hell: where you can find half of my body
Heaven: I'm buying my way there
Salvation: not sure if I'm qualified
Death: romantic for those who have lived life to the fullest
Life: tragic for those who have nothing to live for
God: I exist, therefore, so as he
Accidents:
Spendthrift: money: no matter how hard you keep it, you're still going to lose it
Optimistic: I believe that everything happens for a reason
Perfectionist: perfect things are only done by somebody who wants it done perfectly
Forgiving: because I also want to be forgiven
Indecisive: sometimes I'm unable to make up my mind that's why I often ask for signs
Fence-sitter: as much as possible I don't take a stand on an issue, until I am forced to choose
Cheerful: I don't take life too seriously get used to it
Daydreamer: it is free to dream
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
...On exile...
I just got home from Mega Mall where the celebration of Exile's 20th anniversary was held. It was..!/;',.
Going there was actually a last minute decision. Before I sleep this afternoon I said that if I wake up before 7:30 pm I'm going out; if not, then I won't [obviously very indecisive]...then I woke up after 5 hours. The alarm clock beside me, which I didn't alarm intentionally, says that it's 7:15 pm already so I thought it's the answer. (I really want to go but I want to ask for God's opinion if I really should that's why I did that) I took it as God's response that's why I got up hurriedly to eat dinner and change clothes. While I was having my dinner, my eyes popped out when I discovered that the real time is 8 pm...therefore, I decided not to go.
However, my brain wasn't able to control my body. Both my feet walked directly to our room and my hands uncontrollably changed my clothes. I was no longer thinking that time...I was just moving. I almost didn't ask for my mom's permission about leaving that late but good thing I did. I just told her that I'm going to check something on the mall. I didn't ask for money so that she won't ask lot's of questions.
On the spur of the moment I was already in SM
...alone. There were lots of strangers and nocturnal beings. It was my first time to go alone to that kind of an event so I independently tried my best to [literally] walk and stand tall without the feeling of being left out and '
friendless'. In some ways I succeeded because I was able to ask some security guards with some questions and I was even able to have a small talk with other people...but I wasn't able to talk to Pao [the major reason of my presence there].
I haven't seen him for quite long that's why I went there...to see JTC perform, and the other bands [Koski, Hale, Bamboo, Stone Free, Soap Dish, etc.] Of course, mission accomplished.
I saw him...and it appeared like I stalked him... After what happened on his birthday, I still believe that he can still remember me. I don't want him to see me because I don't like what I was wearing...so I was like a stalker hiding from him while I was trying to glance at him. There was even an instance that I saw him walking towards where I was...I don't know what to do...instead of panicking or running away I just didn't move; I pretended as a statue [a very stupid idea]. Good thing he didn't notice me.
Of course, when it's already JTC's turn on the spot light Pao, as he usually does, gave his best shot...
He's lovely. I really enjoyed this night
...alone.
11:30 AM
Identity
Poise
Precious Illusions
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